Puerto Vallarta (Día Uno): Bienvenidos!
April 15, 2009
Chris and I decided to book a last minute vacation to Puerto Vallarta two weeks ago. For about $500-and-some-odd dollars each we got roundtrip tickets and 5 nights at the Sheraton Buganvilias. Seemed like a bargain so we figured “why not?!”
Timing wise it was the best it was going to be for us. My marathon is this Sunday and after that I’ve got to train like a crazy person for the AIDS ride (which means week long vacations aren’t really on the agenda). And since Chris has the Death ride in July, we would have had to wait forever to go anywhere. (And I needed a vacation pronto!)
We arrived in Puerto Vallarta late in the afternoon on Wednesday to a whirlwind of super aggressive taxi people. Right when you walk out of baggage they start yelling at you. And they did it in such a way (with such vigor and self-assurance) that at first I wondered if some official was trying to stop us for something, well, official.
Speaking of official stuff, in Mexico when you go through customs you push this button after your stuff goes through the x-ray. If the light is green, you walk through. If it’s red, they go through your bag.
Of course, when I pushed the button I got a big fat red. All of a sudden I had a mini stomach spasm. I had a few packs of fruit snacks on me and Chris said we didn’t need to declare them. But, when the light went off all I could think was “oh shit oh shit they saw the fruit snacks! I’m gonna be locked up in a Mexican prison for my fruit snacks!”
Turns out they didn’t say anything about them.
So back to the taxis… when we got outside they were yelling and yelling trying to hurry you into one for a super high price. Of course, what they didn’t know was that
1) Chris is fluent in Spanish … and not I-took-a-crapload-of-Spanish-in-school fluent but I-lived-in-Mexico-and-if-you-listened-to-a-recording-of-my-voice-you’d-think-I-still-lived-in-Mexico fluent,
2) we knew approximately how much we should be charged for the ride (so we didn’t fall for their lies!)
So Chris basically told a few of them “don’t f*** with me” in Spanish and ended up getting us a lovely ride for $12 USD. I felt bad for this other girl who ended up agreeing to $15 but, since she only had a twenty, when they were about to give her change the guy was like “$5 tip for me? And sort of just took it and left” – by the time I saw what was happening and told Chris to go out and help her, it was too late. 
I know it’s only a few bucks one way or the other but it really really really bugs me.
After all the hoopla we eventually got to our hotel. Our room was actually totally decent! I was a little scared given some of the stuff I’d read online about the hotel but I don’t know what people were talking about. The rooms were simple but clean and totally fine. And the “ocean view”, while not exactly what I thought “ocean view” entailed, was lovely. And we even had a little patio with chairs (which we ended up using a fair amount to sit out post our morning runs). The only negative (though in the end I think it was more of a positive) was that the internet didn’t work for us.
After we dumped off our bags and looked around the hotel a bit we headed out to find some comida (that’s food for all you gringos). 
The area right around the hotel wasn’t really bustling with options so we ended up venturing down for a bit. Soon enough things were livening up and we spotted a taco stand. One of my goals for the trip was to try all the really authentic Mexican food (you know, like NOT the Bubba Gump’s down a bit further), so I agreed to give it a go. So Chris spoke his Spanish magic and voila! we got tacos.
At these stands the eating process is a bit different than anything I’ve done in the US (granted, I’ve never eaten at a taco stand in the US [haven’t and probably never will being the epicure I am]). Instead of ordering all your tacos at once you get them as you go. They’re like mini soft tacos, so you end up getting somewhere between three (me) and a whole lot more than three (Chris). I even tried a little bit of Chris’ cow tongue one! Not too bad (save for that tongue-like scale-skin nasty look)!
After dinner I felt it my diplomatic duty to try Mexican desserts and pastries so we walked over to the grocery store. Inside they’ve got loads of different kinds of pastry all laying out next to some flat metal sheets. To get some you just get a little tong and a sheet, plop the treats of your choice on the sheet, and head to the register. We ended up getting like six different ones to try! (Oh and that’s after Chris purposely walked me down next to a friggin cow head!! You can buy a cow head! With teeth in it and eyes and everything!! It took everything in my being to keep my gag reflect in abeyance while I was standing there! )
I was good and waited to try the desserts until we got back to our hotel but all my good behavior was for nada. Why? Because Mexican desserts (or at least pastries…flan is a different story) are no good! The bread is all airy, super dry, and then just coated in sugar crap. How can that be?! How can all their pastries be imposters?!
So that was day one.
Good news: I didn’t have any *cough* issues with my new and exciting taco stand adventure (and they’re yummy!).
Bad news (well…maybe good depending on how you look at it): Mexican pastries are a fail.
Day one complete!
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7 Responses to “Puerto Vallarta (Día Uno): Bienvenidos!”
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You forgot to mention that you also tried tacos with cow cheek. Not quite as good as tongue if you ask me.
Couldn’t tell by the photo. . .that’s one of two double beds, right? Please?
Oh I should have been clearer — there’s actually a pullout under the main bed. Chris wasn’t too happy about it, but somebody had to take the second bed!
sounds like you had fun! good luck in your marathon this weekend, too! Beat Eric for me… he took me on his 20 mile training run the other day and wouldn’t let me take breaks and we did boring laps around san vicente the whole time… I’m so mad at him!
I hear jellied cows eyes wiith chocolate sauce are a delicious treat!
those are the best photos you have? disappointing.
why you always so mean, sista-butthead? I have a picasa web album but I’m trying to space it out for dramatic effect!